Dear Abby: My boyfriend is addicted to partying with his son

Dear ABBY: I have been in a relationship for 11 years. We are not married, nor do we live together. We are both 57. It has been somewhat difficult over the years. He checks in sometimes, then does nice things for me. Recently, he has expressed the desire that we “just have fun”. The problem is that he is having fun with his 27-year-old son and his son’s friends and has managed not to include me at all. Then he keeps asking me what I want to do.

When I mention some “dating” activities, he’s not interested. He finds better things to do with his baby and complains to me that I have no idea of ​​anything to do. He only wants sex with me. I want to do the fun things I suggested. He claims he loves me and wants me to be a part of his life. I feel like I’m just a convenience to him. Help, please! – DISSATISFIED IN PENNSYLVANIA

Dear Dissatisfied: If there are things you want to do, do them with people who are willing. While you’re doing this, ask yourself if this is the kind of relationship you want in eternity. Whether your boyfriend is bored or having a mid-life crisis, I can’t imagine. But if you feel like he only values ​​you for the sex you provide, it might be time to move on.

Dear ABBY: My husband “Silas” and I have been married for 30 years. He is a deacon and Sunday school teacher at our church. (His brother is a pastor.) Silas had a two-year affair with another woman at work while still teaching Sunday school.

I have a hard time with this. I will never trust him again and I don’t trust him in my trust. I resigned my position as a church official soon after I found out what he had done. I could not continue my position with the mess I was about to go through. I left it.

Six months later, we got back together, mostly so I could take ownership of everything I had worked for in my life. I have never returned to our church because he did not leave the leadership and the church did not force him. Silas also lied and told the whole congregation, from the pulpit, that I had two jobs. How could he do this in front of the congregation of a church I have attended for 30 years? He is still not REAL in his faith or his love for me.

I don’t have the money to start over after I withdrew my entire 401(k) and paid off everything we owed, including our house. How do I get out now without funds? During the six months I was gone, he wouldn’t even give me $300 a week to live on and pay the bills. If I leave, I leave with nothing. All I want is to be loved and happy. Please advise. – FEEL MISSED IN LOUISIANA

DEAR INNOCENCE: Please accept my sympathy for this painful situation. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline and ask for help to escape the financial straitjacket your husband has you in. His toll-free number is 800-799-7233. Many other women have done this and succeeded, and so can you.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.